Monday, January 31, 2011

i think i am in love

Yeah, you heard that right, I am in love. . . 

with a dress.

I have been to many dances now, and usually the WORST part is finding an outfit. It seems exciting until I remember how miserable it is to shop for stuff especially since I never know exactly how much my parents want to spend on me, and I don't know what looks good, what looks bad, and it's such a frantic, stressful mess.

But this time, I have found a dress. I found an outfit. (Shoes are probably the only thing that is setting me off right now... and the fact I don't own the dress yet, nor do I know if it will even look good on me)

If this works out, it's a dream come true.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

I Changed My Blog

This is still me. The Diary of a Troubled Teen, or Face the Facts. You now know me as "World Gone Crazy" Why? Because I was bored with the blog I had before. So I went bold and changed it.

Last week was great. Temple, basketball games galore, getting asked to the dance, making videos with my buddies, sleeping, donating blood, hanging with Crit, all this goodness and more. 

This week will be good too. Basketball games (of course!), answering Trent (bound to happen this week), shopping with Sarah, more temple (pretty please sarah), the boys gone! (yes, goodbye mad, walker and father), the play. . . no comment... new beginnings, and probably tons more. 

Whoever said "Let's make 2011 amazing" sure did make a great motto for the year. ;)

January was great, February will be great too. Starting to count down the months til I can get outta here. 

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Say You Will... Eventually?

Something I hate more than anything in the world is when someone says to me "You're such a girl." Please no. "You're a girl" is one thing "SUCH a girl" is another. I am not SUCH a girl. SUCH a girl consists of things like crying, and wanting a boy to love me in public, hate outdoors, crying, crying and more crying. Such a girl contains clean, organized rooms, decorated with cutesy flowers, matching bedding, and tons of cute heels. Such a girl loves to shop all day, and would if they could. They care about every hairstyle, outfit and make up product out there. Such a girl wants a boy to tell her how much he loves her, loves the cheesy love stuff, and cries when she's happy. I am not "such a girl".

I want honesty. I want to be real. I believe in being true to myself. Here's how it is, I have my girlish attributes. I desire to be married, when love is real. I LOVE boys. Let's be real here, no doubt about that. I hate their crap. I hate the words "I love you" when they literally think they are in love you. Hello? We are in high school, no one here, except maybe the teachers, understands what love is. I think PDA is disgusting. No one likes to watch that, only in the movies. I love the cute love things they say in the movies, but if  a boy said that to me, honestly? A Cliche? I am a cliche to you? Yeah, thanks, find another girl who wants to be a cliche. Not me. I don't want to hear that I am sweet, and nice, and beautiful if you don't sincerely mean it.  I don't want to be your "everything", you have a mission to go on. Come on, I am seventeen. I don't want your crap. I can't handle that right now.

Fortunately, I don't have to. Thank goodness for that.

I'm a sucker for love, when it is the right time.

I want this. It's real stuff.

The song "Marry Me" is one of the cutest most sincere songs I know of. That's the kind of stuff I will be ready to hear... in a while.

Forever can never be long enough for me
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do...

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way

...Marry me today and every day
Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will, say you will

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful

Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way

Promise me you'll always be happy by my side
I promise to sing to you when all the music dies

Marry me today and every day
Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will, say you will

(I hope someday I will find a boy to put up with my crap. That would be really nice. Eventually.)

Let's get real here, I think I might miss Utah somedays.

Big Hands, Thumbs Up of a day

TA with Shazz Matazz- Love that girl, "Ultimate OCD question!!!"
Math-long, boring and too much thinking. 
Assembly-Ok the senior boys dance? Wonderful. I almost died watching the goldfish get eaten. Yucky.
English- Oh goodness, my mind stops half the time when I am supposed to be writing, I am pretty much a hopeless mess when it comes to that.
Lunch- Well, it was fine until everyone was making fun of me for being a woman. I honestly think women jokes are hilarious. I just hate not having a way to defend myself when 5 boys are getting after me, plus I am the only girl, in a kitchen, and they tell me to sweep. Ugh... man. But it was great when we got back and Sarah and I dominate at making KC feel bad when in reality we don't even care.
Yearbook- Yeah, I love yearbook, I almost am done with NEXT deadlines page, basketball. I rock.
Home time- Babysat, showered, answered the door in running shorts and a long shirt, let's just say Ryland and Tucker thought I wasn't wearing pants. Hung out with those two a little Auntie Tressa and her kiddos came over for a little. Yeah nothing much.
Basketball Practice- Mayson, a couple of beehives, a leader and her two boys. I suck.  I do. 
Home again- Grandpa and Brandon came over to watch Thrill Billies with my father, I shortly left.
JR. Jazz Basketball Game- Nothing I love more than my wild stallions. Great guys. KC, Sarah, Crit and I are the best fans ever. Mostly Sar-Bear and me. We rock. Until I kill people's ear (um... sarah and kc) when I accidentally yelled in their ear.
Gas Station- Sarah had to pick out a treat for ERIC!! So we did. I convinced Trenty to buy the blue powerade. Yeah, pretty great.
KC's house- Trenty left to get his outfit prepared to answer Eric, basically KC did too. That's when me and Lou were playing with Kong and Samson (easily my favorite dogs out there) and talking to KC's wonderful mother, one of my favorite ladies ever. Then you get KC and his mom together and you have quite a comedy.
Eric's House- Ok, no one is cooler than us. It's a fact. We basically had a wedding ceremony for the two of them. It was splendid. How it came to be, I don't know, but it was wonderful.
Ride Home- Run Around, Lightening Crashes, good music. Me and good ole Trent talking, chatting, goodness.
Home- Geology, blog, bed. Oh wait, I probably need to do the dishes about now. Ugh,... the word of the week is patience, after a year of no dishwasher, I am losing patience. Honestly it's not that bad, it's no disposal that makes me want to throw up and die. Yuck.

Monday, January 24, 2011

If Only... If Only...

I wish I would have been nicer.
I wish I would have been kinder.

Now it's too late.
You can't go back right? You can apologize about what you have done wrong. They can choose to forgive, or to hold a grudge. 

But apology is not what fixes the problem. Changing the attitude, situation, or habit is what fixes the problem.

But what if it's too late to change that? 

What if you honestly wanted to make everything better? What if you wanted to be genuine? I had the chance. I had months and months. I was too prideful. 

Then I apologized. I did what was right. But I never really had the chance to really fix the problem. I never had the chance to change.

I just hope I am not remembered as a mean, cold hearted person. I hope I am not remembered for what I was to that person for months. I hope they can see me as the one I wanted to be. I never wanted to be rude. I just never knew how to handle such a situation. I had never been in one such like it.

I hope I can be remembered for what I wish I would have been, and what I tried to fix.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

as the day hits the night, we will sit by candle light. . .

I love my bucket list for the year. I really should just call it a list of things to do this year, but I don't want to. Here's my weekend...

Photo Booth, we love you.

Definition of us.


I love those two.
Sarah and Mayson took some pictures on Photo Booth, quite common thing we do. Then we went to Taco Bell, Days and Cariel's party. (Emily and Mady had joined by then). Then pretty much Eric, his cousin, Quinn (?) from Orem, KC, Trent, and Malcolm came over and we watched The Social Network. Ok, Mayson loves that movie very mucho. Macall, Andy, Shannon and Quincie joined too. Sarah left though. :(  So after that fun little party we went to Lauren's house, swam, and had a sleep over. That's pretty much it for Friday.

Saturday, Mayson slept again pretty much all day. I think Mayson is sick. Then Emily Curtis came over. I love Emily Curtis. We went and got some frozen yogurt, joined Sarah, Christian, Trent, KC and Reese at the bowling place. Then Mayson and Emily left and went home to watch Despicable Me. Shortly into that, Stookey and BJ came over. Yeah, they are pretty cool. Super exciting.

On a side note, Shannon made me laugh so hard at church. Quite funny that girl. LOVE HER.

33. Swim at Lauren's during the winter.
36. Go Bowling
38. Girl's Sleepover.

The word of the week is "patience", for starters check out this amazing talk.  I will definitely be quoting it throughout the week.

Friday, January 21, 2011

listen to learn.

The picture has nothing to do with the post. I'm tired today.
I discovered this talk about listening to learn and how if we just listen to what they have to say, we can learn what is best. At the end of each section it says one of these phrases:

Wise parents and teachers,  listen to learn from children.

Wise children, listen to learn from parents.

Wise partners, listen to learn from each other.

The wise listen to learn from neighbors.

Wise members, listen and learn from church leaders.

The wise listen to learn from the Lord.

Wisdom is much more then the educational side of us. " Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?"- T. S. Elliot. I have learned much about being wise this week. Wisdom is "the quality of having experience, knowledge,  and good judgment, the quality of being wise"  Wisdom is about the QUALITY of our experiences. I love that. There is much more to wisdom then we think.

We are wise when we decide not to watch that certain movie, or stop saying the things about the others.

We are wise when we learn from others mistakes, instead of making them ourselves.

We are wise when we go to school and get an education.

We are wise when we listen to our parents, family, church leaders, friends, and the Lord.

We are wise when we clean our room.

 It's a wise idea to wear your glasses if you can't see when you drive.

Knowledge is simply knowing something. Wisdom comes with a consequence, or with an award. If we miss out on knowledge, we could miss out on learning something. If we miss out on wisdom, we miss out on experiencing something. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


      Wisdom is being true to our inner self  - thus  bringing harmony and peace
into our lives.  It's discovering a new idea or solution that meets everyone's needs.
Wisdom is also  honoring people and caring about their rights. It is reflected in
the courtesy with which we treat others. 

Friends travel places. We traveled to Mars. Beat that.
I just keep having great days, surrounded by great amazing people. I have some of the best friends ever. Something has changed, I think it was my attitude. People notice that. I had a moment of weakness, and now I feel stronger, loved, and blessed beyond belief. I promise, if you are going through something hard the Lord has never been there more. I promise if you endure your trial, he will bless you. Sometimes the trial won't be over completely, not everything will be perfect or okay but through our Savior, Jesus Christ, the days will get better. I know this for a fact. Through Christ, everything will be made fair. Through Christ, we are made whole. How blessed are we? "Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"- President Uchtdorf One more thing, if you do not have an account, I HIGHLY recommend getting one. I use mine daily. All it really takes is a membership number, get it ASAP. It has been the best thing lately. 

Friends are people who love you no matter what. They drive you home when you feel like dying. They pick you up at Wills Pit Stop. They play "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with you, watching TV after school. They give you the best back rubs. They make fun of your Call of Duty skills. Friends are those who support you and laugh with you. They are there to have a good talk about getting married, books, recipes, and everything. Friends are those who take you to their Jr. Jazz game with a total of like 4 fans. You are a friend in return by cheering as loud as you can in an empty gym. A friend calls you the moment something good happens to them, such as they get asked to the dance. Like I said, I love my friends.

PS. I have a goal to give quotes/scriptures/thoughts about the word of the week. I promise not every time I share something that it will have anything to do with the post. It reminds me of the word, and I like to share for those of you who have decided to take on the challenge.

Another thing, I love my grandma. She did the dishes for me today :) 

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

12. 45. Finished

I love my bucket list of things to do.

12. Make food for someone. Ok, I do this every day for my children. (NO, I am not a teenage mom in hiding, I do NOT have a child-- that's reference to my siblings) But I was kinda talking about someone besides them)

Sometimes I am sitting at my house and someone texts me and wants a sandwich. So I make it, and take it up to Timpview. Ok, why on earth would I ever be SO eager to make someone a sandwich? Let me tell you! Once upon a time, I had a friend. One weekend, I was so sick and dying and all I wanted was a sandwich. I told the friend. Guess who NEVER got a sandwich from the friend, me? Ok... never is an exaggeration. I got the stupid sandwich two months later when I was mad at the friend. Want to know the lesson I learned? Do something to be nice, because you care about the person, NOT because you want to win "points" with them.

Funny thing is, about a year later , I was sick. Instead of asking for something, a friend brought me a shake. Now, I think that this friend who brings me stuff and cares deserves a sandwich when they want a sandwich.So yes, 12 is complete. I made a sandwich.

45. Give someone a random gift. Fish. Fish is a random gift. Sometimes I go to the store and I decide to buy fish for others. The end.

new clothes. new schedule. new me.

glide away on soapy heels, promise not to promise anymore
After a long day of shopping, Firehouse subs, and three fish, came today. I was able to find tons of new clothes, I was excited for that. I knew I was getting new classes, TA, and English. TA became even better when I found out Lauren Faber was TA-ing with me. I went to talk to Van Orden about stuff. Coolest lady ever. She said she was making a seating chart for my new class. I told her who to put me by, and who not to put me by, I think she will listen. She asked why, I told her, we laughed. I went to math and got in trouble for quoting Dumb and Dumber at the exact same time as Sarah. "So you're telling me there's a chance!" We didn't even plan it. So I got moved to the front. Lame. English. English was interesting. The class was WAY different then my old one. Everyone was quiet and talked when it was their turn. Every little comment I made to someone around me made me feel like I was being so loud. Ok, I may seem like a loud one, but NOT in English. Then I went to lunch with Mady, Sarah and Lydia. Did you know Lydia is the funniest girl in the world? Everything she was saying was so funny. Yearbook-- we spent the first five minutes trying to find Lyd's class. Ok, not a big deal but it was fun. Then just worked, I made the weirdest, strangest noise/laugh. Oh man, I love those yearbookers... yearbookies... I don't know what to call them. They are all so funny. Ok, when Emma said we'd be like a family I didn't get it. But then I realized something-- ask yourself, would I be friends with my family if I wasn't their family? I guarantee someone said no, or not all of them. That's how yearbook is. Let's be honest here, I probably would talk to like none of them if it weren't for yearbook. We are all COMPLETELY different. A random group of students who just get together and work, yet, we always have a good time. I love the staff. They are hilarious, in their own way. Great people. ( That means 5 is complete)

Never forget the word of the week- WISDOM.

Photo Credit
“Be happy. It's one way of being wise.”- Sidonie

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” -Plato

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.”-Sandra Carey

“The highest form of wisdom is kindness”-The Talmud

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”- Reinhold Niebuhr

Monday, January 17, 2011

Oh Be Wise

Photo Credit
Let me just say- I love the 50 week challenge idea. So far, so good.

John 14:27 reads "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid"

Photo Credit

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God"- James 1:5. This is the scripture that changed my life. As a young boy, Joseph realized his problem, he lacked wisdom. He didn't know what he wanted to know. He realized he needed to seek God. He made one wise choice, to gain the greatest wisdom. He prayed. "What happened there changed the world, let it change your life" Jacob 6:12 reads "Oh be wise, what can I say more" Sometimes wisdom is found in education, facts, and schooling. Sometimes it is found through experience. Every year we sing "one year older and wiser too" Think to yourself, am I getting wiser? What could I do to gain more wisdom?

Want some good talks on wisdom and being wise?
O Be Wise and Where is Wisdom?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

this is saturday night live

Saturdays.. They are good for lots of things. Productive things. Nothing. Sleeping. My Saturday went something like this... Mayson was sick all day. Felt like crap. Mayson was in bed until 2:30. KC brought Mayson a magical vanilla shake. Mayson felt better after the shake. So then Mayson decided to hang out with KC, Trent and Christian.
This is sorta the rest of the story. . .

Don't mess with me, I have a wrench.

We had some guns

Trent had a suit

Perry Wildebore Style

KC. He might kill you.

Christian had the camera. That's his foot.
There were videos too. I can't get them to upload. :( They were the best part. Easily. Pretty much we just watched "The Proposal", played with guns, made a movie, and talked.

I love these guys. They are the best.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

memories of you, and things we used to do

I will miss days like yesterday.

After school, I went to Mady's, played a game of Life, kicked butt too, drank our Martinelli's. All that jazz. It's kinda a little tradition we have these days. Then we decided to go to her mom's house. Corbin was there. I love that boy so much. We always say we will get married. I walked in the room and he was talking on the phone to Ryan, and he was like "Ryan, I gotta go, my fiance is here!'" Man, how could he be greater. Love that little guy. We watched Mormon Messages on her momma's tv. DVD's are great. We talked with her mom, Shane, and Corb. It was great.

Then we went to the game with Lydia. I am pretty sure  I was tense the whole entire game. It was close, but the T-Birds never fail to come out on top. Good, stressful, game.

Then after quite a strange, um..., panic attack (?), or something, Lydia finally calmed down after we went to Star Bucks, went to Mady's, made cookies, played Life, and ate food. Lot's and lot's of food.

I had nothing to say all night. Absolutely nothing. Especially after the game, I was silent. I wasn't thinking about anything. Most people get like that sometimes, but I don't. They were shocked that I wouldn't talk all night. Sometimes, although it's a very rare occasion, I am quiet. Not quiet because I am upset, tired, contemplating, or anything. Sometimes I just don't have something to say.

On the way home, Trent and Caleb called. They came over for a little and we just talked. Love those guys.

Then around 1:30, I was laying in bed, watching Grey's Anatomy, KC texted me. We were texting about an hour earlier, but I figured he fell asleep. All it said was "You might just be one of the nicest people I have ever met." It was a pleasant surprise. Nice, and thoughtful.

It's people like KC, Lydia, Mady, Trent, Corbin, and Caleb that I will miss most. People who are awesome. People who are so down to earth, there to make your day, and amazing. People who make your day brighter. People like them. My friends.

I will miss you, but it's only two months. We still have half of jr year, and all of senior year. Just promise not to forget about me.

Thursday, January 13, 2011


23. 32. Done. I love my list for 2011.

23- I cleaned my room the other day and got rid of 3/4ths of my clothes. It felt amazing to get rid of so much stuff.

32- I wrote a letter to Brother Olivas, my seminary teacher. Let's be real here, he was the best I have ever had. I admit it, I cried about it ending. Weird eh? Yes. But honestly Brother Olivas was the most amazing person ever. (I feel like he died hahaha)

44. Let me tell you about the 50 week challenge, I got the idea from Dania. Basically I am going to focus on one of those words every week, this week being peace. So I walk into Days, what do I see on their quote board? Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it. What are the odds? I love the 50 week challenge. Such a great idea Dania! Thanks :)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A Different Take

Sometimes in life, we as humans complain about the blessings in our lives. I do this all the time. I discovered this as I was waiting in line during lunch today.

The line was clear out the door. I had to go take pictures of book club, I was hungry. I wanted my food. Patience Mayson. Patience. Right? Then I thought to myself, wow, we have a lunchroom full of kids who get to eat lunch today. I am glad that there are a lot of people in front of me who get to eat too. About half the world, gets hardly a meal a day. I can wait 5 minutes for my food instead of waiting days.

At times I complain about having to go to school. I don't feel like going, I don't want to study. I never stop to think of how many wish they had a nice building they could go to and learn, get an education. I get to learn, grow and develop.

I complain about not having a dishwasher. I see a sink full of plates, pots, pans, spoons, forks, knifes. I dread doing them. Do I not realize how fortunate I am to have a family, to have a home, to have shelter, to have food. People all over the world do not have these luxuries I have.

I complain about how ugly my house is. There are millions over the world who don't have a house at all. Why complain about what mine looks like? I am blessed to have a place to call home.

I complain about babysitting my children. I don't want to deal with them. When I understand what it is like to yearn for a child so much. I know how much it hurts to want a kid. I understand that pain. I also, never take into consideration, what some people would give anything, to have the life I have. Adoption worked for me. Thousands wait, for years sometimes, to get their kids, many never get one. We waited 6 weeks, and within 15 months, we had three.

This list could go on for hours.

Sometimes we complain about our lives. We complain that not every tiny little thing isn't easy, convenient, and perfect. Take a step back. Look at the blessings in your life. Look at what God has given you. You might find yourself saying, "Wow, my life really isn't all that bad"

Photo Credit

Monday, January 10, 2011

Taking Chances

Before I post this, you need to know, none of this is official, just dreams, hopes and likely to happen.

This summer I might move to Maryland. I would live with my some of my mom's friends. Then I would work at a summer camp called Calleva. I would be gone for 8 weeks. I would say goodbye to my friends and family in Provo, and get what I would hope to be, the experience of a lifetime. Sadly, I would miss my brother coming home from his mission. Fortunately, he is on his mission in Maryland. So I would take a week off work to play around Baltimore and DC with him. I would miss his talk, the parties, the stories. What's another 2 months when you waited 2 years? Plus, I would have him to myself for a whole week. I hope to be able to do this really bad. I think about how much I need to get out Provo. I need to get some time alone. Away from everyone. Time to myself. Time to remember who I am. I would be able to meet new people. I would get to live in my favorite place in the world. I would miss girls camp and youth conference. I would miss the 4th of July celebrations. But to be honest, that is all stuff,  I have, and will be able to experience again. This might be the only time I get to do such a thing.

Maryland, here I come. What do you say to taking chances?

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Random Thoughts.

 Photo Booth is too fun.

I keep replaying Justin Bieber's "Baby" song. As in over, and over, and over again.

I cried at church today. Dang that Sophia Osmond, she is the best girl ever.

McKann and I are going to see "The Foreigner" on Thursday. One of my fondest memories of my father is when he was in that play. Probably the happiest I have ever been with him.

Speaking of my father, I went to his old house yesterday with Christian and Sarah. It was weird to see it. I remembered dreading going there, weekend after weekend, being separated from my mom and dad. I hated leaving them to see father and Merily. I remembered going there one weekend and seeing that he married her in the photos. I remembered being invited to my own fathers wedding. I remembered playing with the neighborhood girls. I remembered I never got to say goodbye to them. All I have wanted to do is say goodbye to them.

I always thought my grandpa was buried in Provo. Yesterday, I found out he was buried in Springville.

I am in love with Ingrid Michaelson Pandora.

I just got a text from KC that said "Mayson the Rabbi" . . . What the heck?

I love running. LOVE IT.

It is Christian Paiva's birthday. Sarah and I were there with him, the moment he turned 17, right at midnight, we are cool like that.

Today at church, Shannon and I couldn't stop laughing at the funniest things.

I got rid of 3/4ths of my clothes. I cleaned my room. I am ready to go get new clothes now.

I ate a slushie yesterday. Reminded me of Juno.

I have this fear of teachers. I feel like I talk to them about my grade. They say not to worry. I worry anyway. I don't feel like they pull through unless you bother the heck out of them.

I have an irrational fear about not getting into college. I don't know why. I have good, good grades. I do extra curricular activities. It's the ACT I am worried about. I have only taken the practice and that was not very good, but I also didn't try to hard.

I only get to be in my seminary class two more days. I may cry. I have the best class in the whole world. Brother Olivas is the best man I have met in my whole life.

I love Mormon Messages. A lot. A lot.

Stookey on my skate ramp. Best thing ever.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Two Posts in One Day is a Bit Much. Don't hate, appreciate.


This year will be the one. The one where I live every day to it's full potential. The one where I learn from the past, but never set foot it in. The one where I let go, forgive others, forgive myself, for give him, and him, and her. The one where I focus on what matters most in life, and who matters most. This year will be the one to laugh when it hurts, smile when I want to cry, and cry when I start to laugh. It will be the one to learn how to express how I feel with emotions, and words, while I'm feeling it, instead of bottling up my emotions. It will be the one where I push myself the hardest, furthest and fastest. The one where I make mistakes, the type of mistakes I have made before, I'm making now and am bound to make in the future. The one where I lose my voice cheering for a sports team, cry during a chick flick, and smile for hours because of a boy. It will be the one where instead of letting my trials handle me, I will handle my trials. The one to grow from hard times and never stop growing. The one where I work harder in school, study for tests, and learn all I can. This year will be the one to try new things, discover new loves, and do stuff I have never done before. It will be the one to go all the way. It will be the one to run in the 23's for 5K/3Mile, seven minute mile, and run at least one half marathon. The one where I run and train, and train, and train, and train like crazy. The one to come close to the Lord through church, scriptures, seminary, prayers, fasting, experience, friends, family and life. The one where the temple is my second home, and I get to free souls in heaven. The one where I fill my quote book so much I wanna die because I love it so much. It will be the one to grow closer to family, see my brother and remind them that I love them. It'll be the one to strengthen friendships, make new friends and be a friend to myself. The one to fall in love with life again. The one that IS better than the last. It'll be the one to change my attitude, my wardrobe, my bad habits, and myself. The one where I dance in the kitchen, scream songs in the car and act like no one is ever watching. The one where the bad moments will come, but I will be reminded so will the good. The one where I find things uplifting, virtuous, lovely, of good report and praiseworthy. The one to be an example to others and to be strong and of a good courage. This year will be the one to help a friend in need. The one to serve. The one to be selfless. The one to care more for others than myself, for in helping others I can truly find myself. The one to find the girl I lost last year. The one to love. The one to hate. The one to laugh. The one to cry. The one to forgive. The one to forget. The one to see who I can become. The one to stay true to myself. The one to be me. 2011 will be the one.

"Just because WE'RE not girls"- Kirsti Faux

Why do something if you are always complaining about it?

Ok so there is this particular group of girls at our school that do this ALL the time. (I honestly love these girls a lot, I just don't understand this at all) They complain about going to practice, and having to wear certain things that their activity requires, complain about being sore (seriously? you ran one mile, one? ok, nobody is going to die here) but then they think they are in shape and stuff. I'm sorry but what you do, is NOT a sport. I call it an activity. I personally do not understand the point of this activity. It's useless. (I'm trying not to give it away because I don't want to be bashing these girls, I sincerely like them a lot, I just HATE their activity of choice) The thing about this activity is that I have done it before. So I feel like I have more of a say of how lame it is because I have done it, and it's just silly. Eh... I am sorry if I have offended you in any way. That was NOT my purpose. I just don't understand why you do it when all you do is complain about it every minute you can, on facebook, in the halls, where ever. Quit. (ok I know it costs a lot of money to do this type of thing so maybe quitting isn't the option)  But the thing is DON'T COMPLAIN EVERY DAY ABOUT IT. Plus this isn't one girl complaining, it's all of them. Yes, sometimes I complain about a workout I have to do for running. But not everyday.  I just wonder if you guys complain to get attention or something.

I just find this odd.

One time, someone was upset about something they had to do for this activity, one of those given things you are required to do. Isn't that kinda like me complaining about when my coach tells me to run ONE mile. That's at least expected of me at practice.

Come one girls, cheer up. Your life is not that bad.

PS. Please don't hate me if I hurt your feelings (if you even know what I am talking about)  Honestly, I most likely adore you. I am sure I do. I honestly don't understand. Maybe you could explain to me someday. I think you guys do a lot of good things, I just don't really get the point. (If that makes sense)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Oh What A Day...

I feel good. I truly do. After a great lesson in seminary, happy as a clam, watching a Mormon Message, Brother Knowlton walked in and delivered a note and a box of Pirouette (those long stick wafer things)I opened "There IS reason to believe this year WILL be better than the last" Clearly, this person has read my blog. I truly love this person. Although, I have not a clue in the world who it is, I love them. As I read this, very well thought out, and considerate note, I read "Learn to love again, it's okay. Don't be afraid to fall in love with life again." It was honestly everything I needed to hear and more. As "D" (the person who wrote the letter) continues , "Letting go isn't about giving up or giving in, it is about learning to be with you, without that little part of yourself that you gave away" You know that feeling when you read something, and you wish you could say it THAT good. I wonder, I wonder so much, how this person knew exactly what I needed to hear. I cannot express my appreciation to this person as much as I wish. They don't understand how much it meant. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. to me. I had no idea what it was.

Thanks again "D". I love you. You are truly an amazing, thoughtful person. You definitely earned an acre or two for your mansion in heaven. (As Ryan King would put it)


On a side note, I went to track today and we did "Temple Repeats" can I just say, I forgot how much I love to run? Ahh.. It was splendid.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

My Knees Have Bruises

Last night was the best. Oh goodness, I love my friends. The adventure started in Dania's car.  We went and got Jacob and drove up to Bronwen's. The ride us was filled with the yummy treats Jacob gave us, talking about my cold, cold, ice cold, heart, listening to the radio and excited to be at Bronwen's. When we got there we got out snow clothes on and were ready to go.

Moment: (Brooke couldn't find any of Bronwen's long sleeve shirts. So she came down with a handful of her own)  Dania:You're a twig! I couldn't fit into that! (ok something like that) Mayson:Did you just call her a pig? You're a pig! I couldn't fit into that!

So we went sledding. That was fun. Bronwen's house is the best place to go sledding. There is this humongous hill, and people would take turn's driving around to the bottom to fetch us. Then one time, (actually two) I jumped over the snow pile and landed in the road. Ouch. My face killed so so bad. But as I laid in the road, I was laughing. Dania came up and was laughing. But then she didn't know if I was laughing or crying. Neither did I. I decided it was laughing. My knees were bruised and I was in a lot of pain.  (and I still am)

Moaks and I decided to take a break. It was freezing. My toes were cold, my face was in pain. We sat in the Biddulph's house with Brooke, Madison, and Alex. They are all so cute. Oh and Bronwen is too. Except, strangely they all look completely different. But luckily they are all cute so it doesn't really matter that they look different. 

After some delicious toffee stuff, I decided I was ready to go back and sled. I snow thrashed it, went too slow for Jacob, and raced to the front seat to sit by Seth. Ok not really, I wanted the front but I didn't know Seth was driving. Dania, Bronwen and Catie teased me. 

Moment: Mayson (speaking of her sled): I like this guy! Catie: Oh who? Mayson: The sled. Catie: Oh, I thought you were talking about a boy. Mayson: That would not surprise me. 

After a time with oldie, the plastic sled, I was finished. I swear, it took me like 12 minutes to get down that mountain. I lost my hat, I was frozen. I decided to go inside. I took off my wet snow gear and sat down. I was frozen beyond measure. I obviously do not own the best snow clothes. So I sat in their house, listened to Brooke play the piano, talked to her, and really enjoyed myself. So then I was finally warm, and everyone else came in.

As we sat in the kitchen, we all were pretty much entertained by Bronwen's lovely mother. She's pretty much the coolest person ever. Honestly, I was laughing the whole time. I now understand why Bronwen tells her mom everything. I never understood at first, but now I do completely.

Moment: Sister Biddulph: Let's just say, she was cranky twice a month.  All the girls burst out laughing as the boys hung their heads down. 

Moment: Jacob: That's like 12 years of a messed up flavor system.

Moment: Mayson: Wait, how many kids do you own?

Moment: (Mayson and Bronwen burst out laughing) Seth: It's like telepathy. They didn't even say anything. 
So we piled up into our cars, and drove down to Andrew and Matt's house. We sat and talked about boys on their missions and how they would feel about getting wedding announcements. We were joking about how sometimes girls who never date in high school get married early. I asked about getting cold feet at the alter and they joked about feet being literally cold. I thought they didn't know what cold feet meant. Silly rabit, Trix are for kids, of course they knew! Then we played "Apples to Apples" which is pretty much the best game ever. We drove home.

Moment: (Jacob walking in his driveway) Dania: I hope we don't hit him, that would be awkward. Mayson: Yeah, awkward, not sad or anything, just awkward.

Then I got home, tried to go to bed, but I couldn't, and finally fell asleep.

Thanks for the amazing night guys, too bad you guys are graduating soon. :(  Lucky ducks.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

It Just Keeps Getting Better

"Don't you quit... there is happiness ahead"-Jeffrey R. Holland
Life is like a bottle of wine. What was bad in 1957 is now good in 2011. Think about it, sometimes we go through such crappy times, sometimes it simply doesn't seem fair, sometimes life is just bad. But we don't realize that it could, although it was bad, the same thing can become good. You have to grow up a little, You have to age. You have to experience sorrow and pain in order to understand happiness and pleasure. I'm sure this isn't new to anyone. But it's always a friendly reminder. Especially to myself.

"Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together"- Marilyn Monroe

That, my friends, is my favorite quote.