Thursday, March 31, 2011

dancing in the moonlight.

So... I have been to six dances already and two more to come this month.  

It's so funny because the hype before the dance comes, I am excited, then the week of the dance comes, and I hardly even want to go. Not that I don't love Stuart-- I just don't feel like going to MORP. This happened with Sadies, and with MORP last year. Girls choices dances are not that great. But I go, because so far, since I turned 16, I have been to all of the dances (except senior ball and junior prom last year), and I don't want to ruin that great streak. (Or get bad luck because boys choice dances are the bomb diggity)

I don't know why, but I bet it is because I suck at planning or something, but the girls dances are not ever that fun. Hopefully MORP will be fun. I am sure it will. Stuart's great. So yeah that should be good.

Morp spelled backwards ironically is Prom. (It's actually not that ironic.) Prom is in like 3 weeks. Can you believe it? I am way pumped for Prom. I was worried about getting asked, finding a dress, and all that jazz. But I had good luck at this dress place in Draper. (I love my dress so much! Lauren-- yours too, freaking gorgeous) and I got asked yesterday by Jake Knell. So that's set. :) No more stress about that. (I am happy my mom didn't have to pay off a senior boy) 

 I hope I don't get sick of dances. They are fun. BJ, James, Max, Joe, Taylor, and Trent have all been great dates so far. Stuart and Jake will be fun too. Then we have a whole other year of high school next year. We will see how that goes. 

Anyway, thats whats on my mind, seeing MORP is tomorrow. That's all folks. 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Commonly, after school, I went home and went on facebook. Lately, via Facebook or Blog, people have been doing their 30 day challenges. One of the days is "If I could trade places with anyone for a day, who would it be?" In most people's minds, it's someone, rich or famous. At the top of my mind, I would pick Taylor Swift. 

But then I saw on my friend's page...
"I would trade a day in the life of a cancer patient, so I could relieve their pain"

That is true inspiration. Why trade places with someone who has EVERYTHING? They wouldn't appreciate YOUR life? You sure wouldn't either. The next day, you would go home to your "small" house, and have only $5.00 in your wallet and your world wouldn't be good enough for you anymore.

So now, now that I actually thought about it for a minute, thought about the world we live in, there are far more people in the world who deserve to see how good life can be. Living in Provo, Utah, no one of us have it as bad as most in the world. Sure, life gets hard-- everyone knows that. But deep down, we have it good and we are blessed. People have no food, no family, no support, and still thank God above for their blessings. Full blown with aides, no shelter, no mother tucking her in at night-- nothing.

Living in America, we can't even comprehend what the world sees. Living in Provo, we can't even comprehend the tragedies in this world. But somehow, people in distress thank God above for their things.

So, when asked next time who I would trade my day with, I would say--

An African girl, full blown aides, no family, no food, no shelter.
A  Jewish child from World War II
A cancer patient, but can you imagine having cancer with no good heath care? People, that exists.
The guy with no arms or legs.
A deaf person. A bling person. 
People with disabilities.

Not Taylor Swift. 

So when you say your prayers tonight, don't just pray for the things you need. Thank Heavenly Father for the blessings you take for granted every single day. Warm clothes, education, shelter, food, family, friends, technology, even the President of the United States. (I hear people complain about that daily, hey you, go to Egypt or Libya and realize-- our government is not that bad)  

We are more blessed then we realize. 

Monday, March 28, 2011

true friendship.

Sometimes in life all you need is a good friend. I have found within my life, I have been blessed heavily with friends. I feel that each of my friends support me and make me better people. My friends vary from people to people. Some are wonderful, uplifting people who I could be around all day, and others are those who I can be with for a few hours and call it good. But either way, I love my friends.

Something I have been reminded of through out my life is that sometimes you just can't depend on people. Time after time, certain people have put me down, and I can no longer depend on them. This has formed a trust issue with me and certain people. No, not the stranger down the street, I trust them more than I trust someone I have known forever. I fear being loved my people because I fear being left behind.

But I have certain friends who have stood by me thick and thin and I thank them for that. Year after year, they put up with my crap. They understand me, watch me break down and cry, seen me freak out and go crazy. These people are those I call my truest friends. Yeah, in collection they are my best friends as well, but I give them the title of "true" friends because I feel that "true" friendship lasts forever where "best" friendship may not last forever. True friends have gained my complete trust, and I know, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, they have my back. 

Life goes by and time does too. Your simple smile, your outgoing personality, your voice your laugh all face in the distance. Luckily as we grow apart, we will always be friends. That's what true friends are for. To watch us change. To see our ups and downs. To see us achieve, and sometimes fail. To grow a distance from. To be with us until the end. But no matter how far we go, change, or fail, we will be friends forever, because that's what true friends are for.

I remember when I was trying to decide about Maryland. I was nervous about losing all of my friends. But I remembered, somewhere at Timpview High, I had my true friends. And I felt okay. I knew that they would be my support if I lost everything. They always have been, and always will. They will be they aunts to my children, and will be my bridesmaids. These girls I will grow old with, even if we just have to talk on the phone, and go out for lunch every few months. I love them dearly, and I hope they know that and always will. Here's to you guys, thanks for everything.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

my mind forgets to remind me, you're a bad idea...

Thoughts at 8 am...

Yesterday was a day, not great, not terrible. I got service hours during 1st. Lydia and I went to Wal Mart during 3rd. The cool Kyle Maynard guy was there during 5th--that was legit. 7th I just talked to Gabby. Gosh I love that girl.

I came home and played with Zoe Hart and Sarah Thayne. My mom buzz killed my good day by getting mad at me. I was over that fast. Then my parents left, and I watched my kiddos. Walker is the funniest person I have ever met in my life.

Last night Walker told me to duct tape a boy up and tell him I won't let him go until he took me. I think I laughed for 10 minutes. Classic.

I love when you leave your phone, or fall asleep, and when you return or wake up you have multiple texts. Great feeling. :)

I keep listening to Taylor Swift, "Sparks Fly" and Queen, "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy"
Both great songs.

I ate a rice crispy treat for breakfast. Yeah, I am awesome.

We went bowling for Maddox's birthday. I bowled a 58, winner right? But it was fun.

Basically I had the strangest dream last night.

Yeah. Young Women thing tonight. I am excited :)

The End

Thursday, March 24, 2011

i believe in miracles

I don't know how but I somehow got an A in math. I thought I accepted my fate with an A- and decided it was just school, but reality is, I am SO happy I didn't lose my 4.0

Sometimes in life there are small miracles, like a grade going up 2%, and others in life, there are large miracles that effect our lives forever.

Today, I want to speak of the latter. The large miracles in my life are mostly found in the 3 cute kids we own. Today is Maddox's birthday, and this my dear children, is a  tribute to him.

Maddox is a punk. I think he was born that way. There is something about Maddox. When I get frustrated at him because he kicked me (again) or he hit me (again) or he yelled at me or whatever, it reminds me of his birth-parents. See, Maddox was no mistake to them. Bobby and Kelly planned to have him, but made choices along the way and they realized they had two options. Give him up for adoption, or have the state take him. They loved him and wanted him to have a real family, stability and hope. Foster care isn't always the best solution. So I am reminded of seven years ago, sitting at a Golden Corral with two people who just handed their baby to us. So for them, I will always love Maddox. (Well, he is my brother. . . )

We called him the rat baby. He came home 5lbs 5oz. But he sure was a beautiful baby. He has the longest eyelashes and is the perfect mix of his birth parents. Sometimes I look at him and see Kelly. Sometimes I look at him and see Bobby. But mostly, I look at him and see Maddox.

If you have met Maddox you love him. He has that touch on people. Lauren, although he threw scissors at you, I know you love him. Sarah, although he chases you around the kitchen trying to get you to kiss him, you know you love him. Jensen, he is your brother, you better love him.

One of my favorite things to do is look at the yearbook with him. He spots out any person he has seen once. Like Rachel Davis, who probably helped him one time in the office last year and he just knew who he was. Every kid in our ward he knows, Hen-ery (I love the way he says his name) BJ, Andy-- KC, Stookey, Christian. He can seriously spot out any person. I LOVE IT.

Honestly, this kid is the most talented, cutest kid ever. I love Mad-max. Happy Birthday buddy.

(The pictures are old, I am too lazy to dig through thousands of pictures)

PS. Greatest moment of the day, besides the "A", Um... I walk into Acapella room because Emily is trying to convince me to hang out, and there is just a piece of paper with my name on it. Mayson! That is all it said. Pretty great moment. I kinda wish there was more to it, but hey, I am keeping this paper forever. 

Monday, March 21, 2011

tragedy was a destiny

My cousin's recent facebook status was "Sometimes in life we have these moments in your life where you throw your hands up in the air and say OH FREAKING WELL." 

I am having one of those kind of days.

My grade in math is probably going to stay an A-. Goodbye 4.0 - - OH FREAKING WELL. 

I probably won't go to Prom with who I really really want to go with- -  OH FREAKING WELL.

I probably won't run for student body president, and if I do it's a (huge) possibility I could lose- -  OH FREAKING WELL.

I can't seem to sleep at night - - OH FREAKING WELL.

In life, things don't go as planned. 

Yesterday at stake conference President Bunting said something along the lines of, (specifically talking to youth) "High School is just the immediate world you live in. Compared to the rest of life, and eternity, it isn't the biggest deal" 

Ok well, that was the idea of it. "It's just high school" 

Here's to high school-- raise your hands in the air and say OH FREAKING WELL.

Thats about all we can do.  The quote of the week is "The only source of knowledge is experience" High school isn't about the classes we take, math lessons we learn, or even the people we meet. High school is about our experiences and how we learn from them. One term left until I am a senior, and I still have a lot to experience. 

Sunday, March 20, 2011

i took my love and i took it down

The other day, I vented to Mrs. Van Orden about everything on my mind. She said, "Time really does heal all wounds." I hated that. First it was a cliche and I didn't believe it. 

But time, space and talking truly does heal things.  She said, "You either talk about it, or forget it ever happened and move on." I had tried the first thing, and the second thing wasn't going very well. Sometimes it takes more than one conversation,  and it takes different circumstances. 

In your words "There is hope for a better world" - - I agree. It is just high school. This is one of those hilarious situations I will tell my kids about when you are our bishop. (Ok that happened in my dream one time, and I can actually see that happening)

It feels good to be done with this stress and on to new ones. KC told me to be optimistic and happy today.  I am. 

Yeah, maybe I am "running away to the east just like before" but if only you could understand. . . I am running from the people that caused this problem. This time I am not walking, walking angrily-- I am getting on a plane and leaving. Not from you this time, from her. One day I will realize that you can't just up and leave your problems. Maybe that is not what I am doing.  Maybe all I am doing is giving it time and space. 

Time and space healed this one. At least for now :) 

Ps. McKann and Sarah-- you are some of the best friends ever. Thanks for being there with me :)  Lauren-- Thanks for providing the place. Sorry about Africa. :) 

Friday, March 18, 2011

A Plethora of Freshman

Lately, my love of freshmen has grown so dang much. Honestly, I freaking dang love those guys. They are so easy to talk to and I love them dearly. So freshmen, this is for you. 

How can you NOT love this?
First, Joe-berry. Ok, I love how when we first met, we didn't like each other. But then, over time (and a trip to California) we became friends. Remember that one time when Tanner and I threw you in a bush? Yeah, sorry about that.  Joe is the greatest. I could talk to him forever, pick on him, and still love him for telling me that life is good because he hasn't gotten in trouble with the cops or the school. No vandalizing. No stealing. Not even skipping half of class to chat with me and Lauren. Jackie, can I just say how much I freaking love your brother? 

We love you Conrad, Oh yes we do! 
Then we have Conrad Freaking Smith. Drama has been so dang fun with him. He acts, and I wish I knew how to. Conrad is always so stinking nice to me and I hope we have Drama again next year. Look at him, he is wonderful. :) 

Taylor and Carson. Yeah, we all have boy names. We cool.

Taylor. Tay Tay, Bay Bay.  Oh goodness, Taylor is my favorite. I honestly could be with her for hours and hours. We just talk about who knows what, and end up laughing forever. I am so happy Taylor is in my ward. We just laugh forever. How is someone so cool? Honestly, I can't get over Taylor. Seriously, she is the best ever. Ever. 

Ok, and the other girl in this picture, Carson. Oh my heck. Ok, I could be with these two all day every day. First of all, look at them-- they are gorgeous. But that is besides the point. These two always make me feel so good. They make me feel like I am a comedian or something. They are always laughing at me. Maybe it's because I am such a ditz. :) But ok, lets be real here, they are so dang funny. Please be my friend forever Carson? I lovest you dearly. 

Who the heck is this gorgeous girl?

Gabby. What would yearbook be without Gabby? She is my favorite to talk to. She is such a darling girl who understands me so well. Next year we will party hardy in yearbook even more. Sometimes, I honestly sit in my room and think about how much I sincerely love her.

The others are mostly in my drama class. Liz and Bethany. Ok, these two are so wonderful. I know I have said that about everyone, but I really really love these girls - like a lot. They make me so happy and I love being around them. Nick is pretty cool. I love to be around him. Tautiyana. Coolest black girl ever. And she never lets anyone forget it. "Oh of course it's Snow WHITE!" That and "I think I am going anorexic" Sometimes in Drama we laugh for 20 minutes straight. Gotta love Taut. I really want to do a scene with her next year for Drama competition. (I secretly, openly, wish I could be good at Drama. I truly love it a lot) Drama kids make the world go round. Especially my freshmen buddies.

Can anyone tell how much I admire this girl?

I just thought of someone. ABI. Abi who plays the uke for me and writes songs about Tanner with me. Yeah baby. I love talking to Abi and being with Abi and anything with Abi. And Abi Abi Abi. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Abi. 

Oh and Gwen? Are you out there Gwen? Yeah, maybe I haven't seen you in for-freaking-ever, but I do not love you any less. Gwen is so cute and trendy. I wish I could be Gwen. Seriously? I am positive she is so dang adorable, and I am sure her and Henry have the same genes so I bet she is genius. Gwen, I need to be honest with you, Gwen is seriously on my list of favorite names for girls. (Actually Gwendaline but if my husband says I can name my second girl Gwendaline, we will probably call her Gwen and then you can feel all cool and hopefully she can be just like you.)

Ok sure they bug me sometime. Sure I look at them and laugh because they are so different and young to me. But honestly, those freshmen usually make my day that much better and that much brighter.

Yeah, I love you class of . . .2014? Is that even right? 

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

get it right

What have I done? I wish I could run away from this ship goin’ under
Just tryin’ to help, hurt everyone. Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn’t good enough? When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my
best intentions keep making a mess of things 
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take for me to get it right? 
Can I start again with my faith shaken? Cause I can’t go back and undo this.I just have to stay and face my mistakes But if I get stronger and wiser- I’ll get through this.
What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air and accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair
Yeah, I’ll send out a wish, Yeah, I’ll send up a prayer
And finally,
someone will see how much I care.
How many times will it take for me to get it right?
           . . . .                                                   . . .                                     . . .                                     . . . .                           
Sometimes songs like this come out, and I want to die. Honestly, perfect job Glee. I remember at the beginning of the episode I was not excited. I didn't want to listen to songs  I didn't know.  But I loved this one, and Loser Like Me. So I find myself asking, "How many times will it take for me to get it right? " 
I honestly do not know. I sure did screw up that time. 

Monday, March 14, 2011

i won't be denied by you, the animal inside of you

Regret is hands down the worst feeling in the world. Its not the feeling that we cannot forgive another it is the feeling that we cannot forgive ourselves

Regret crept into my life lately. If only I knew which of the various things I regret. It could be all of November. It could be January 21st.  It could be February 6th. It could be February 11th.  It could be April 17th. There is a line somewhere, but I am not sure exactly which one of those occasions, that I actually regret. It- for sure, is there somewhere. 

Regret is a feeling that is hard to push off. People often say, "Don't regret things" or "Everything happens for a reason." 

But honestly, I regret the way I used my agency. 

"I'd go back in time and change it but I can't, so if the chain is on your door, I understand" 

Time is one of those things that easily slaps you in the face. You can't go back, you can't go forward. All you really can do is live in the moment. I regret the night I lived in the moment. I didn't think about our past. I didn't think about our future. I thought about myself.  And deep down, I wasn't even thinking. 

But when I went to go fix my mistake, it was too late.  I remember that moment. We hugged in the street,  and I thought for a moment life could be better. But then I realized I was wrong

In life, we have to learn lessons. High school is this temporary state that seems like eternity. I know, eventually, I will look back on this and laugh.  But with prom creeping about, us talking again, and knowing you will never, ever be mine again, I can't help but regret. 

I regret every choice I made to get to the point we are now. 

I want my best friend back. 

Sunday, March 13, 2011

bucket list.

22. Go a week without Facebook.

I did it. Yeah. I decided last Saturday, no facebook this week. I didn't really care too much. Yeah it was tempting at times but it is a sigh of relief to have it done.

52. Dress up crazy, and crash a party.

Sarah Thayne is too good to be true. Our outfits rocked the world on Friday. So what if we weren't invited? We are coming anyway.

Anyway, I officially will run May 7th half marathon. June 1st I leave for Maryland. Fun stuff coming up.

Next big thing? Planning Morp. Yeah baby.

Ps. If anyone knows how to change what the "reactions" buttons at the bottom and wants to help let me know. :) 

Thursday, March 10, 2011

59 days, will i be ready?

Today I was reminded I don't only love running.

I do have a love-hate relationship with the guy.

I remember a few months back, Dania and I were talking about running. I clearly remember her saying, "People think that just because I am a 'runner' that I don't ever have bad days running." I was under the idea that Dania never had a hard time running myself. But I learned a good lesson that day, no matter how good you get at something it doesn't mean you don't have a hard time.

Ok, I may not be in super great shape right now, (or even in shape it feels like!) and its not like I was ever an amazing runner, but today's run shouldn't have been as hard as it was. I only did like 3.5- 4 miles. (Probably closer to 3.5) I did run up Timpview/Wills Hill. (Whatever you call that dumb hill) but other than that it shouldn't have been so hard. I  had a bad physical run. My body was hurting, especially my shoulders and neck. (Don't ask me, you think it would be more my legs, but my legs were mad at me too).  My foot didn't hurt, thats a sign. Well I ran in my old shoes to see if my new shoes were the problem, by golly I think they were. That sucks. I hope it is an easy fix so my brand new asics don't go to waste. (Plus they look super cool!) My poor physical strength lead to a mental disturbance. I had a mentally bad run too. I kept beating myself up. It didn't seem right to be so upset and bad at running. It reminded me of my first day of XC. That's how bad it was.

As I finally made it home, I thought, if every running day was perfect, I never would push myself. I wouldn't want to run as much. It wouldn't be worth anything. Tomorrow, I want to go kick that run in the face and show running who is boss. That run made me angry and now I am motivated to try even harder. Bad runs teach me how awesome good ones are.  There really is opposition to all things. 

"Running is the perfect metaphor to life, whatever you put in it, you get out"
-Oprah Winfrey 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

you don't know me at all

People are too quick to judge.
I am guilty of this. I have a goal to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I want to see the best in people. So I will find it.  Sister Hinkley said. "Judge everyone as if they are trying their best."

That's my goal. 

I say this because I know of some people who have never liked me, ever. I didn't do anything to them but for some reason they don't like me. I know not everyone can like me and be friends with me . (Although I would love that) But these people pretty much hate me. Why is that? I have some ideas but honestly, I don't get it. At all. It bums me out. I have tried with these people. I have been nice. I just don't get it, it makes me sad. Oh well. 

Looking forward to Maryland. :) I keep forgetting its twenty minutes away from DC. 

That will be wonderful! 

On a side not, the word of the week is faith. I have faith that my math grade will go up. I have faith that I can be kinder to people. I have faith that everything will be splendid. 


Saturday, March 5, 2011

my walkie talkie.

8 years ago, we got a phone call telling us that Walker was about to be born. My mom and dad packed up as soon as they could, and before it they were off to California.

By 9:30 am, March 6th, little Walker was in my parents hands.  I had to wait, with loads of anticipation to see my baby brother. Most wait a few hours, I had to wait a week. That is how adoption in California works. 

This is the kid who saved our lives. 

From that day on, I have been forever changed.

Walker is the best kid ever.  I feel like the luckiest girl ever to be able to spend every day with such a talented, nice, good looking little boy. As I watch him grow, I realize how hard it will be to be a parent. 8 years already? I remember the phone call like it was yesterday. I remember holding the little baby in my arms and realizing, he was
ours. I finally had a little brother. I learned that the Lord doesn't always work the way we want to. 

Sometimes I think of little Cannon who never got to come to this earth. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we did have him and if my mom were able to have kids of her own. What would Cannon be like? 

I truly believe a little bit of Cannon is in Walker, Maddox and Warner. But I also truly believe that Cannon had to die to be able to fulfill our family completely. Cannon would have been born in July. Walker was born in March. If Cannon was born, I never would have the opportunity to have the best kids ever in my life. 

My message to you is never doubt the Lord's ways. 

Here is Walker, the kid who saved us. 

hahaha, always happy. 

Always been a detailed little worker. 


He has laid like that for ever. Always has the arms up. 

Sadly, my internet sucks, and my computer was full of space so my mom stored all the baby pictures on a hard drive, so this is what you get. Isn't it weird? You never would have guessed he is adopted. He looks just like Tanner! He is 8. That means he will be getting baptized soon. My little boy is going to get baptized? Ok, although we are waiting until August-- (He insists on having Tanner baptize him, their relationship makes me want to cry, it is the cutest thing ever, and I insist on being there. So since Tanner gets home in June and I get home in August, we must wait forever.) But still, he isn't big enough to make such a decision!! But I am proud of him. He will go far in life. 

I love you Walker, always and forever

Thursday, March 3, 2011

three very important people

As I read Dania and Bronwen's blogs-- I became sad. Not because they love each other very much or Dania wishes she were me. :) I realized they are graduating. And then I was sad. Seniors, I honestly won't miss many of you, but this is a tribute to my absolute favorite three senior friends that I will definitely miss very most. 

McKann Hanseen. 

I cannot get enough of this girl. Since freshman year, Mckann and I have been pretty good friends. So maybe we aren't the type to hang out every weekend, but when we get together it is epic. This girl gets me. She totally understands everything. I love sitting in her cute little truck and chatting. It will be weird to not have her at school. (Ok, I don't really see her at school, but I hope she will play with me still) Somehow, although she is the busiest girl I know, I love how she genuinely cares about so many people. McKann is no "half" friend. She is fully there if you need her. I have had countess good times with her. Yeah, I will definitely miss her so so so so much. I just hope graduation isn't goodbye forever! 

Dania Frandsen.

If you do not absolutely love Dania, you seriously have a problem. Dania is truly inspiring. Everything she does is just absolutely wonderful. She is such a good example to everyone. I love talking in her car too. Its sorta something I apparently love to do. Talk. (hahahahaha) I will seriously miss Dania so incredibly much. Who will I talk to at church? Who will understand my fantasies of getting married? Who will blast the wretched song as we drive and I want to cry because she is torturing me? I can't explain Dania.  She is so amazing. I appreciate her friendship more than she realizes. I hope she visits our little family ward every once in a while. I will need her every once in a while to keep me grounded and normal. Dania reminds me that I am not the only crazy person in the world. Whether we are rocking out in the car, or tunnel singing, I can't get enough of her.

Bronwen Biddulph.

I have to admit, the first day of XC I thought she hated me. We were track buddies but then some "circumstances" happened and I was convinced she thought that I was a horrible person. The next day, I realized I am crazy. Bronwen. Bronwen. Bronwen. Oh gosh. This girl is too good to be true. I love talking with her for like 14 straight hours. I love that we could run together. I love that she understands that boys can't be girls. (hahaha) Bronwen is one of those people that you just have to be happy to be around. I remember the day I found out she was going to Footlocker. I think I was a little excited. Just a little? Yeah. . . Then that whole trip was wonderful. The whole dang girl is wonderful. She is such a kind soul and an amazing friend. I love you most, and I always will. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

it's like wishing for rain, when i am standing in the desert

Music is the way to express exactly how I feel:

This one line from my boyfriend Justin Bieber---

"You said you need a little time for my mistakes, it's funny how you used that time to have me replaced" 

Um... I loved the Biebs, then I heard that line, and I loved him more. Out off all lyrics (including T. Swift) that is hands doworn the most like my life. Read my yearbook for proof. Lame-o.

 The Weepies-- Not Your Year

Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall
Some impressions stay and some will fade
Tattered shoes outside your door, clothes all on the floor
Your life feels like the morning after all year long.

Every day it starts again
You cannot say if you're happy
You keep trying to be
Try harder, maybe this is not your year.

Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected
There's a world of shiny people somewhere else
Out there following their bliss
living easy, getting kissed
while you wonder what else you're doing wrong

Breathe through it, write a list of desires
Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires
Paint a heart repeating, beating "don't give up, don't give up, don't give up."

That is all. Goodnight children

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

im just a stranger, even to myself

I love to run.

There is something about it that is almost impossible to explain.

Today started off with the ACT. I pretty much failed it, I know that one for sure.

Then we went to Pizza Pie Cafe with pretty much the whole world. (Yon Soo, thanks for planning that! It was absolutely a grand idea, I love that our class was able to unite!)

Then I went home and I watched the basketball game. Ugh. That was awful.

Then I was invited to go see Harry Potter the seventh and one half. But that is not right. I wish I knew what that would mean in math terms. hahaha

 I didn't end up going. I ended up running 6 miles. Ahh... Man I miss that. Seeing I only started running again yesterday, I think my legs are mad at me.

"Jumper" just came on Pandora. That reminds me of KC, Trent, Christian, Mady and Sarah. Yay for friendship songs!!!

Overall, it has been a pretty decent day :)