gonna party like its 2012

2012.

Completed the Yearbook

Went to senior ball with my life long friend, Mike Witham

Graduated High School

Survived working at Vivint with Tyler Hill

Went to Aspen Grove. Twice. With the Huish Fam and my Martinis Fam 

Moved out and started UVU

Was a Big Cat for a day
Went to Vegas to support Mitt Romney

Watched all 5 seasons of Merlin

Spent most of my time with baby Eloise
Survived the end of the Mayan Calendar 

Made some pretty bomb awesome friends

Kept some pretty bomb awesome friendships

It wasn't the best and it wasn't the worst. I had quite a bit of life changes this year and I'm growing to love each and every one of them as they have come. I'm quickly learning that life is a big adventure. So here's to you 2012, thanks for the memories, the people I have shared it with and for helping me grow to the person I have become. 

i miss your face like hell

Sometimes you miss the person that is five miles away. Calling them wouldn't help, they probably wouldn't answer. Sometimes they're across the country, or destined to be in far away lands. And their quirks became your own,  now a simple word sheds light on memories buried in the deepest corner of your mind. Sometimes the worst way to miss someone is when they're just across the room. Awkward silence and distant stares fill the room. Sometimes you miss the person you talk to all day long or you miss the person you see every day. Because the situation is different and it's just not the same anymore. 

But the fact is, missing them isn't enough to bring them back.

in my new apartment

The first thing in my shopping cart today was a 20-pack of diet coke. Ironically, I won this hat on my way out of the grocery store.

Welcome to the 408. Home sweet home.

Check out a new blog here. 

swaggy

If you asked me what I did this summer I'd say, "Look homeless, go to work, eat Cheetos and hang out with McKann." 

I'd also tell you I've enjoyed every moment of it.

i plan on sleeping in

I lost track of how many times I've said, "I feel homeless" today.

i grow fonder everyday

We don't sleep anymore. My body and brain have decided staying up all night is much more fun than sleeping. We think about moving out and college and working and money and boys and tv shows and church and life. We enjoy our thoughts. After all, these are exciting thoughts. Our favorite thought is that all of these things don't worry us anymore like they used to. We're just ecstatic and counting down the days. Not gonna lie, summer needs to end now.

I'm fed up with goodbyes, I'm just ready for hello.

just like raindrops

I love driving in the rain, it is beautiful.

Until your car floods.

And you leave your window open.

 

Oh and PS.  I got a housing scholarship today!  I have a place to live! 

(I really am happy about the rain. I did get a good chuckle out of it thought)

in over my head

There are 168 hours in a week.

I spend 32 of them at Vivint, 56 of them sleeping,  and 3 hours at church on Sundays.

That leaves me with roughly 77 hours.

I'm pretty sure, I have spend each of those hours watching "The Office" or laying on my bed.

Oh the life of a sick girl in the summertime.

Pathetic. 

this is too much for me to hold

Facing fears and letting go.

It was time. 

the war outside our door

#7 Senior Assassins

It started with a little over a hundred of us, fearing to leave for our cars in the parking lot. Everyone was paranoid, everyone was excited. 

We gathered our weapons and started for the kills. People were constantly dying. 

Waiting for Sam Cusick outside his home, hiding in the bushes for two and a half hours for Josh Burr, or even lying to some of your great friends (ie Aubrey Snelson or Camille McKeon): these were all ways we killed them. 

I don't know if I liked it so much because suddenly, for the first time, our grade connected or if because the thrill was always there. 

After I died, it was all about Macall and Andy. I always hoped it would never become between the two of them because I honestly don't know whose side I would have taken. 

I realized that I am a great assistant. I saved Macall and Andy both a number of times and we were a trynamic trio.

Basically, it was the thrill of a lifetime. 

at first sight, and it's real

Sick as a dog, November 10, 2011, I remember bawling to Josh Burr that I couldn't get through the day. It had been 12 hours already in Mr. Sutherland's office with more to come. I walked into the Thunderdome to set up for Veterna's day,  Baker took one look at me and told me to go home. But I couldn't. I had more to do. I skipped school the next day, missed the assembly I planned, and somehow made it to play practice that evening.

Whether it was watching "Being Elmo" or singing Millie with Heather, peeing pants and singing like a man with Gabby, or hearing Jonathan's selection of music, I somewhat enjoyed deadline days because it meant I was closer to finishing the biggest accomplishment of my small life of 18 years.

We played "The Final Countdown" and counted down until I would submit the final of 240 pages. It was done. The yearbook was done and I was the happiest person in the world. 

When  Sutherland handed me the pocket knife to open the box, I was shaking. Nerves and excitement filled my body. It was here.

My book. It came. 

And just like November 10, 2011-- my first deadline-- I cried. I was so proud of the accomplishment of my staff, overjoyed with the success.

I did it.

itty bitty little thing on my mind

Trader Joe's is a mystery place to me. I prefer Target or Days Market with familiar brands and food that I like eating. 

I hate waking up from perfect dreams. You wake up and things are just the way they were yesterday. 

It's rainy out and I just want to read all day. 

Animals: not a fan. Why do people spend hundreds of dollars to take their dog to the vet? That's what people have children for. 

Every time I look at my toes, I smile. Teal sparkle toes. I love them. 

Why is it human nature for us to feel useless when we are around people who are superior to us? 

Being a mom is more than a full time job, I wonder if I will ever be able to do it. 

I miss Sarah. Not just because I have been gone for a week, but because we haven't been as close these last few months. She's so funny. Being gone reminds me of living in Maryland, she would talk to me on the phone for hours just to comfort me. 

The days go by slow here. Really slow. 

I vow that I will never live in California. Well by choice that is. It's too superficial for me. 

Some days I wonder if I will ever fit in. 

And these are just some of the random thoughts that crowd my brain, minute after minute. 

only the young can break away

My room is (still) a mess. There are (still) dishes in the sink. My legs are (completely) sunburned. My car ran (completely) out of gas and I couldn't leave the Timpview parking lot and this week has been (way) too long.

However, life is good. 

I spend literally hours in the sun. I slept, I read, I daydreamed. It was worth ignoring my duties of cleaning. Who cares if there is dishes in the sink? Who cares if the laundry is all over the floor? Who cares that I walked home?  When it's 68 degrees, no clouds in the sky and there is a perfect slight breeze so it doesn't get to hot, you gotta embrace that.

You can't let the mundane tasks of life ruin a perfect day.

Today, I got a sneak peek of summer. 

 Who's complaining now? 

(probably my parents, look at all of things i didn't do, haha)

a place in the clouds

I was inspired by a famous Dr. Seuss book for my new blog title.

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose."

Oh The Places You'll Go!

the possibilities are endless.

losing my mind, losing control

Let me tell you a story,

I was driving with my little sister to Yogurtland. We came to a stop light. I was sitting there thinking about the book on dating that Mady is going to give me. I wasn't texting. I wasn't talking on the phone. Simply thinking.  The cars next to me started going, so I did. Yep, you got it, I ran completely through a red light. Let me tell you. the shame and the embarrassment I felt was to the max. I was some loser car who just was going through a completely red light.

So why do I tell you this story?

It sure isn't to tell you that I am a bad driver. I will be the first to admit that I can't park my 59ft truck. I turn my blinker on 5 miles too early and sometimes I run over the curb. I am 89.99% of the time a too cautious driver. Sometimes I space out, but I don't text while driving, I try not to talk on the phone, I sit way too close to the steering wheel so I can be sure to sit straight up and pay attention.

I'll tell you why I told you this.

Sometimes in life, we go through these phases where we're just in a daze. We run the emotional, physical, spiritual stop lights. We don't pay attention to the things surrounding us. We just drive by without thinking. We go through our days living but not living. We aren't careful, we really aren't anything. We're just driving.

So wake up and realize where you are because guess what sweetie, the light isn't green yet. You're time will come. 

so close to reaching that famous happy ending

Last year.

I remember last year when we completed our book. I took a picture of the green bar indicating that we had submitted it all. However this year it's a little bit different. This year the green bar represents the work that I have put into 240 pages. To think that in about a week my that green bar will be full is a delightful thought. It is somewhat sad to think that pretty much my time as Yearbook editor will be ending, but wonderful to think that it will be completed. I honestly cannot wait. I'm proud of my staff for the work they've created. I love them. We've bonded so much because of a book we are all striving to create. I have spent countless hours reviewing and reviewing that thing. I know its not perfect. But I'm pretty dang happy with it.

felt so lonely in your company

There I was, tapping again. It's this habit I have formed when I feel uncomfortable. How peculiar, I thought, I was in a room full of faces that used to be familiar. Conversations happened, but all I heard was noise. I did want to add to that awful sound. But it kept building and building. More, more, more, more, more, more. I screamed. On the inside,  of course. In that vision, everyone stared. The room froze. Suddenly, there I was in the middle of a room, everyone wanting me to say something, and I had nothing to add, nothing to offer. Silence. But it ended. No one was staring, no one was looking. I just blended. Invisible at best.

Isolated: to set or place apart; detach or separate so as to be alone.

it's always darkest before the dawn

If Britney Spears can make it through 2007, you can make it through today.

when i shakes hands with you

Welcome to UTA. 

• Variety Show (scenes, monologues, musical performances)
• Waiting for Amy (play)
• A Midsummer's Night Dream (play)
• Cyrano De Bergerac (play)
• Thrillionaires (improv group/musical)
• The Mikado (musical)

• Building Ensemble Characters using Les Mis
• Shakespeare Solutions (taught by Mr. Cracken, for anyone who took drama last year) 
• Making Your Life into Theater 
• Stealing the Scene (more on ensemble work) 
• Introduction to Rasa Boxes (a very interesting technique of breathing)

Fun Stuff. 

living a teenage dream

Clear skies to California were not looking so great.

My trip was going to get rescheduled to who knows when. 

Then....

I tried out for A Capella, got permission to go on tour and there I will be, with tons of fun people, in California. Disneyland, a play, other fun adventures.

Hip-hip-hooray!

(or should I say Zip-a-dee-do-dah?!)