Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Ever feel like you don't belong??

This is my great depression picture. It kinda reminds me my mood the last week.
I feel like my life is upside down.
Me and Lizi sometimes go to the Bean Museum. I like Lizi. She is great.
Lately, nothing feels right. I just am hardly comfortable in my own shoes. I am not mad, or sad. But I am not happy either. I wouldn't even call it content. The best word to describe me is ok. Yeah, I am ok. Life isn't bad. I have many good things going for me. My house is turning out because of all the hard work my mom puts into it. I love Lizi! She is super. My social life is 50/50. I am still good friends with Mady and Louie. But I just feel so distant from every one else. Christian Paiva talks to me again. That really makes me happy. :) Some people are just confusing....... People who things technically are going great with, it just feels wrong. Something feels... OFF. I guess thats a good way to put it. I just am so confused lately. I just want change. I have just realized there are so many places and people in this world, I am sick of Provo. I have lived here for a long time, a majority of my life. I've driven on the same roads. I look out the window and I see the same old mountains. I deal with the same 1000 people daily, mostly narrowed down to probably around 150-200 that I see EVERYDAY. There isn't anything wrong with the mountains, the streets, the people or Provo. I am just sick of it. I am ready for college. I can't wait to get out of Utah. Funny, my whole life I have wanted to go to BYU. But I just don't think it is for me. Maybe after a few years of getting out of Provo. As much as I am ready to get out and be independent, I am terrified. I have no idea how life really works. Money is stressful, then trying to do it alone, oh my. But overall, I just need change. There is a world of opportunity that I don't really live in. Basically, today I really feel like a troubled teen. I am so confused about life. I am kinda emotionless. I don't know exactly what my problems are. Hopefully, things will change soon. Summer is only a term away. Thank goodness. :)

This has been a diary of a troubled teen.

No comments:

Post a Comment