Tuesday, June 26, 2012

how bittersweet this would taste

I turned the page and wrote, I broke the rule.
He sat up in bed. I don't know how much time passed.
He wrote, Everything will be OK.
I told him OK wasn't enough.
Everything will be OK perfect.
I told him there was nothing left for a lie to protect.
Everything will be OK perfect.
I started to cry. 
It was the first time I had ever cried in front of him. It felt like making love. 
I asked him something I had needed to know since we made that first nothing place years before.
What are we? Something or nothing?
When  I said goodbye to him, before he left for the airport, I lifted his suitcase and it felt heavy.
That's how I knew he was leaving me.
I wondered if I should stop him. If I should wrestle him to the ground and force him to love me. I wanted to hold his shoulders down and shout into his face. 

"Promise me you'll take care. Promise me you'll take extra good care. I know you look both ways before you cross the street but I want you to look both ways a second time because I told you."  

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