4 hours of sleep= not a good idea

So yesterday was a fun day! I love Emily Curtis, I hope I am aloud to say that. We had a great night. We went to her house. I miss my kitchen, a lot. So I decided to use hers to make cupcakes. More like these mini cake things, yeah. So then Lydia, Shay and Macall came over. They were all ballroomed up. They enjoyed some of my cake. Next Bobby, Cannon and Ben came over. We decided to deliver the cake to some people's houses to be nice. Except, Ben's car didn't have enough room in his car so just me, Emily, Bobby, Cannon and Ben went to deliver the cakes. That took a LONG time. The deliverers, Emily Bobby and Cannon took forever!! Then Ben and I couldn't find them and it was intense! But so much fun. I felt really bad for leaving Lydia, Macall, and Shay. Then Cannon had to go home so we took him. Then we got back to Emily's and decided to have a fire. That was fun. We just made smores and talked and it was just fun. So they stayed... pretty late. Well then Emily and I stayed up and talked with her cool awesome sister Sarah Jane, and then we left Sarah alone and stayed up til 3. Yeah we had to be up at seven for the service project. I am exhausted. Not to mention I get to have the kids all day, so staying awake is a mighty tough job. But SO worth it! I love Emily. I am so happy we got to hang out last night even though I am dying right now. She is such a great friend!! :)

Good Day.

It has been a good day. I have enjoyed myself much. The choir concert was amazing. I made it on yearbook staff, our ASL movie is coming along, and the day was just good.

Nothing amazing happened. My shoulder kills. My mom got mad at me. (again) But that's just life. But overall I feel so lucky.

Lucky to be alive and healthy. Lucky to live in the country I live in.

Does anyone realize how lucky we are to live where we do? Our flag stands for freedom, we have men fighting, dying for it, and I feel no one around here appreciates that. I just wish that people saw that. I am just so happy to have what I have.

Be Grateful. I am sure you have so much to be grateful for.

Be Prayful. Be Humble. Be Gentle. Be Still. Be Your Best Self. Be Better. Be Loving. Be Friendly. Be Kind. Be Honest. Be Smart. Be Clean. Be Relaxed.

Be You. No one else can do a better job.

I would HIGHLY recommend you watch this video. I promise you that you will feel better. I promise.

I want to let go.

I want to forget.

I want to take it all back.

I want my freedom.

But not the way you describe it.

I may be free.

But not from you.

The ghost of memories past haunts me.

Why?

We we friends.

Best Friends.

I lost it all.

And you move on.

While I have no where to move.

We are opposites.

Whoever said opposites attract, lied.

Dear You,

Thanks a lot. The memories we shared are hardly worth the pain. But I want it to be worth it. It is pain you don't feel. So since you don't feel the pain, you never felt the joy. If anyone should believe that, it should be you. So once again, I thank you. I thank you for the pain. I must.

Because it means I felt the joy.

...fall to pieces...

Break Even, Falling to Pieces

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
'cause I got time while she got freedom
'cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days are some of my worst,
She'll find a man and a man who's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces

They say that things happen for a reason
But no wise word's gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even.

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
you took the suitcase - I took the blame
Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains
Oh cause you left me with no love in order to remain

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even

And what am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
I'm falling to pieces
I'm still alive but the other one's leaving.
I'm falling to pieces
'Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even
Oh it don't break even no, it don't break even no
It don't break even no

I love this song. I have known it for a while but I actually listened to the words and sometimes this is how I feel. I love the line "when a heart breaks no it don't break even" because a lot of the time, one person seems to be more hurt then the other, maybe just because the other person is stronger. The other line I love is "What am I gonna do, when the best part of me was always you? What am I supposed to say, when I am all choked up that you're ok?" I sometimes feel like I lost a part of myself, and if you're fine, why am I not? Everything in your life is so grand, and that bugs me. I have been miserable lately.

But sometimes, that's ok. I don't honestly know how you feels. I just see how you act and I am jealous. Maybe you are lying. Maybe you aren't ok.

We only can view the world from our prospective.

This next song, I have always loved. It doesn't really remind me of anyone in particular. It is just bueno. Sometimes it has someone I think of, but not currently. I just enjoy it and thought that since it was called the same as the one before I could write about it. It is a classic to me. :)

I looked away
then I looked back at you,
You tried to say
the things that you can't undo,
If I had my way
I'd never get over you,
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through.

Make it through the fall,
Make it through it all.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you.

You're the only one
I'd be with till the end.
When I come undone
you bring me back again.
Back under the stars,
Back into your arms.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you.

Wanna know who you are,
Wanna know where to start,
I wanna know what this means.

Wanna know how you feel,
Wanna know what is real.
I wanna know everything Everything!

I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it.

Friday Night Lights :)

So yesterday, I went on the most fun date ever! So around 4 PM I was sitting in my room, curling my hair, really just bored out of my mind. Then I get a phone call. Alex Burdge was calling me!!! My first thought was that maybe I accidently called him, so he was calling me back, I always randomly call him by accident. But then he was like, "Hey Mayson, what are you doing tonight?" So basically he invited me to Friday Night Lights and it was SO MUCH FUN! Well, I was frantically running around my house trying to get ready, but I HAD to go to the mall because my application for fashion team was due that day. So I get to the mall and I had to have an interview. I was seriously freaking out because of time. But I made it back on time and everything worked out great.

I get there, and I get my jersey. I am ready to play! We do all these drills on offense then switch to defense. I was so bad at them, but it was so fun. Christian Covey and Tevia (whose last name I have never learned and I had biology with him for a year last year) were our like team coaches. I loved having them as coaches! It was so fun!! So my favorite was the tackling the things down. I seriously loved it.

I played defensive line man. It was so fun. I was all tough and stuff. Ha I accidently tackled Lydia down, and their team gained 15 yards. Oops... The game was so fun. We won. Sicily, Lani and Allie dominated. They were all so freaking good.

After we had dinner. It was these Teriyaki Burgers and they were SO yummy. I ate 1 and a half. haha, and a lot of gummy bears. Dinner was so much fun.

The best part of the night, was my date. Alex was seriously so great. He opened doors for me, and got my food, kept me warm with his great sweatshirt. :) He was so polite, fun and hilarious.

It was such a great night. I loved it. I was truly happy the whole night! It has been a while since I was truly happy. I needed that night so much. I am so happy I got asked! It was so fun!

Yay for Friday Night Lights!!