glide away on soapy heels

(The reason I copied and pasted that previous post is because I have too much on my mind right now. )

All I do is ponder.  

I see pictures and I am reminded of who we used to be. Two freshman ready to fight on the world, conquering bug collections and Great Expectations. Being proud of running two miles in PE or joining track for a day together.

I've decided that people don't change, they just discover who they've been all along. 

And it hurts me so much that we've discovered different life paths. Give it a few months and we will no longer be speaking.We'll go about saying that we need to hang out and catch up. But it will never be the same. We're no longer the innocent freshman of Mr. Marker's Algebra 2 math class.

Inside jokes and old memories last for only so long.

It was engraved in my head that we'd be friends forever, that you'd be there at the birth of my children and we'd go on family vacations together. And that we'd talk and plan each others' bridal showers. But I don't even know if we'll make it through the summer.

The saddest part isn't that I'm losing you, it's that I simply just don't care anymore. 

party on the rooftop, top of the world

#9 Spring Break 2011- Hot Springs Adventures

 We were sitting at Sarah's house and Stuart called. Travis, Connor Goodwin, Bryson Seifert, and Stuart were going to the Hot Pots in Heber and wanted us to go. So... We did. After waving to some "friendly people" we got into the warm water and were having a good time. Basically, we see a car, a couple of flashlights, and yep, you guessed it, it was the cops. Apparently, we were trespassing and the "friendly" people were the owners and instead of being normal and telling us to get off their property, they just called the cops on us. So we all got a citation, and will have to pay a fee. Yeah. At first I was freaking out, but after I called my mom, and the boys were joking a lot, I was fine. Mayson Astle got a citation. I never had that planned. Ever. But hey, how funny is that? So now my mom calls me her "little criminal" and I have some seriously good things to laugh about.

(I literally just copied and pasted that from when I posted it originally) 

 

i always reminisce

For the next 10 days I will be posting my top 10 favorite memories of high school.

#10. My 16th Birthday Party

We were at Lydia's watching "The Six Sense" when Lydia wanted to go to Henry Lee's house so badly to get donuts. It was so dumb, and I wanted to watch that movie so badly. I tried to convince them to leave without me but they insisted on going. On the way there, Lydia insisted that she HAD to go to the bathroom at my house which naturally made me have to go. So we got inside and I booked it upstairs to go to the bathroom.

Turns out, there were 85 people waiting for me to arrive in my kitchen. 

It was a surprise birthday party on Halloween. Everyone and their dog was there. (Including people I didn't know but eventually became super close with. Such as Travis James Tyler and Jake Knell). I remember I walked into my kitchen and saw the dreamiest boy ever standing there. I walked out, breathed for a second and uttered to myself, "Don't freak out, Bentley Wilson is in your kitchen"

I remember feeling overwhelmed by how many people celebrated with me for my birthday.

It was a huge success and I'm so grateful to my mom and friends for planning it.

everything is moving faster than it seems

Birds, pianos, books, old people. young people, people in love, people who aren't in love, plane crashes, babies, sheet music, Aubrey Glazier, thinking, parents, friends, people you used to know, people who are leaving, people who are staying, the one kid in your class that you have spoken to once, tall people, glances,  flowers, seminary, tv shows, reading, facebook, student government,  driving,  rainclouds, conference talks, accomplishments, disappointments, teachers,  graduation. 

 I wasn't expecting to get so emotionally involved with life.

at first sight, and it's real

Sick as a dog, November 10, 2011, I remember bawling to Josh Burr that I couldn't get through the day. It had been 12 hours already in Mr. Sutherland's office with more to come. I walked into the Thunderdome to set up for Veterna's day,  Baker took one look at me and told me to go home. But I couldn't. I had more to do. I skipped school the next day, missed the assembly I planned, and somehow made it to play practice that evening.

Whether it was watching "Being Elmo" or singing Millie with Heather, peeing pants and singing like a man with Gabby, or hearing Jonathan's selection of music, I somewhat enjoyed deadline days because it meant I was closer to finishing the biggest accomplishment of my small life of 18 years.

We played "The Final Countdown" and counted down until I would submit the final of 240 pages. It was done. The yearbook was done and I was the happiest person in the world. 

When  Sutherland handed me the pocket knife to open the box, I was shaking. Nerves and excitement filled my body. It was here.

My book. It came. 

And just like November 10, 2011-- my first deadline-- I cried. I was so proud of the accomplishment of my staff, overjoyed with the success.

I did it.

nothing ever lasts forever

“Growing up is never straight forward. There are moments when everything is fine, and other moments where you realize that there are certain memories that you'll never get back, and certain people that are going to change, and the hardest part is knowing that there's nothing you can do except watch them.” 

 -Alden Nowlan

if you could stay like that

 

I could ramble all day about how excited I am for graduation and to move on from high school.  But when I crawl into bed at night, it's bigger than I am and my fears have overgrown my excitement. Is anyone ever truly ready to leave behind the life they know into the world of wonder? So I say a little prayer to a much bigger God, that hopefully, I can make it in this big wide world.