paint with all the colors

Nothing I can think of that's more fun than throwing chalk all over each other with my favorite people, then jumping in the river to clean it all off. College is the best thing ever. 44 more days until I say goodbye to it and this all becomes a memory.

 Life is unreal. 

my kind of perfect

I'm honestly in love with my life. It couldn't be better. 

a long road to wisdom

Reminiscing about the times when a football game or a homework assignment or a Saturday night meant everything to me. Looking back at all those people who taught me lessons and laughed with me. Most of us have parted now to spread good news across the world. Cleveland is 96 days away. Pretty soon, all of now will be but a memory.

Growing up is sort of unreal. 

anything but typical

There wasn't anything paricular about them.

But together they decided that this was happiness. 

gonna party like its 2012

2012.

Completed the Yearbook

Went to senior ball with my life long friend, Mike Witham

Graduated High School

Survived working at Vivint with Tyler Hill

Went to Aspen Grove. Twice. With the Huish Fam and my Martinis Fam 

Moved out and started UVU

Was a Big Cat for a day
Went to Vegas to support Mitt Romney

Watched all 5 seasons of Merlin

Spent most of my time with baby Eloise
Survived the end of the Mayan Calendar 

Made some pretty bomb awesome friends

Kept some pretty bomb awesome friendships

It wasn't the best and it wasn't the worst. I had quite a bit of life changes this year and I'm growing to love each and every one of them as they have come. I'm quickly learning that life is a big adventure. So here's to you 2012, thanks for the memories, the people I have shared it with and for helping me grow to the person I have become. 

she fell in love in the first place

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door.

After all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade. "

the last song that i write while still in love with you

if i had one wish

Sarahlou. Gosh I just love her. She's so dang funny and unique. Everyday I drive passed "Krispy Kremes" and every single day I just want to take her one. I miss her every day appearance in my life. I bought a Little Caesars pizza the other day and I had no one to share it with. Sarah has been a big blessing in my life and I love our friendship. She's such a cutie pie and I love her. I'm bummed I didn't get to see her on her birthday. It's just weird because I feel like it was yesterday that I threw her huge 16th birthday pary and now she's finally an adult. Lou, I love you! Happy Birthday!

Shazz. She's been my best friend since 7th grade. Goodness we've had countless memories together. I love thinking of tiny baby Lalo in 7th grade and our obsession with Keaton Roney. Or the time we went to San Diego and thought we were so cool. How many hundreds of Sundays have I spent in her room just blabing on while eventually she just fell asleep. I could never imagine my life without her. She's just always been there. I love her and I can't wait until all of the future memories we have together. Happy Birthday Shazzy! I freaking love you. 

 Isabella. Bella. Iszy. Giszby. Inspector Giz. (No I have never called her that but now I want to) Haters gonna hate but yes this (now) 15 year old is one of my best friends. Bella and I are just too freaking awesome to not be friends. I remember when I first met 12 year old Iszy. We were sitting in her basement and we instantly became friends. About a year and a half later, it was May 7th, the day I ran a half marathon, I was sitting in her basement yet again. Somehow I brought up yearbook and convinced her to join. (I also convinced Packer that Mayson had a twin and that my name was Dondra, so that's where Dondra comes from) But we've been buddies ever since. She got an email so I could communicate Yerd stuff with her over the summer and somehow we started emailing each other. We have emailed each other funny thing every day for over a year. . She is one of my very best friends. You will never meet a person like Isabella. If you can make her laugh her true laugh, you have accomplished great things in the world. I just love her. She's the little sister I never had. Except I do have a little sister but I didn't get to go to high school with Puffy. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA. I freaking love you. One more year and you can officially date. Enjoy 15, it's a fun one.



(My computer was broken on Shazz and Louie's birthday so it's a few days late. But luckily it's working just in time for Bellas.)

your faith was strong

Aren't we 16 and heartbroken? Since when were we grown up and responsible? I can't believe this day is here. We've only talked about it a gazillion times.  He's been one of my best friends and he's been the best example to me. He honestly makes me laugh when I'm crying, He reminds me I am never alone. My heart holds a special place for this guy. Peru is lucky to have him.

"Go ye now in peace and know that the love of God will guide you, feel his presence here besides you, showing you the way. In your times of trouble, when hurt and despair are there to grieve you, know that the Lord will never leave you. He will bring your courage. Know that the God who sent his son to die that you might live, will never leave you lost and alone in his beloved world. Go ye now in peace."

I love you Elder Wheatley. Thanks for everything. And like you said, it's only two years right? 

a good good life

 There are no words, life is just wonderful. I am very blessed. 

My cousin Maggie had a Hunger Games Party.

OLYMPICS.

hahahahah McKann sends me jokes.  I joke back.

Uncle John, Jensen, Mayson and Grandpa Jim. <3

Jacey Rose.

Ginormica bounce house slide+water+soap=epic.

SALTWATERS. Favorite purchase.

It's decided.

BEST COOKIE EVER.

Only at Vivint.

Taste of the Valley.

McKann and I did not behave at church very well.

 There are no words, life is just wonderful. I am very blessed.

when we first met

"So I really hope that at the end of the month I get unlimited or at least texting to Verizon free! But unlimited would be nice!"

-Lauren Faber, 6/17/2007

Nothing makes me happier than knowing she's been my best friend longer than she has had unlimited texting. 

i grow fonder everyday

We don't sleep anymore. My body and brain have decided staying up all night is much more fun than sleeping. We think about moving out and college and working and money and boys and tv shows and church and life. We enjoy our thoughts. After all, these are exciting thoughts. Our favorite thought is that all of these things don't worry us anymore like they used to. We're just ecstatic and counting down the days. Not gonna lie, summer needs to end now.

I'm fed up with goodbyes, I'm just ready for hello.

how bittersweet this would taste

I turned the page and wrote, I broke the rule.

He sat up in bed. I don't know how much time passed.

He wrote, Everything will be OK.

I told him OK wasn't enough.

Everything will be OK perfect.

I told him there was nothing left for a lie to protect.

Everything will be OK perfect.

I started to cry. 

It was the first time I had ever cried in front of him. It felt like making love. 

I asked him something I had needed to know since we made that first nothing place years before.

What are we? Something or nothing?

When  I said goodbye to him, before he left for the airport, I lifted his suitcase and it felt heavy.

That's how I knew he was leaving me.

I wondered if I should stop him. If I should wrestle him to the ground and force him to love me. I wanted to hold his shoulders down and shout into his face. 

"Promise me you'll take care. Promise me you'll take extra good care. I know you look both ways before you cross the street but I want you to look both ways a second time because I told you."  

you put on quite a show

I remember when I was a kid, there were 40-50 first place ribbons hanging on my wall.  None of them belonged to me. They were all my sister's. I had probably 6 ribbons. They were all participation.

Looking at all those ribbons and thinking how stupid she was for liking her ninth place ribbon the best. It was black and it was beautiful but was ninth. She had an abundance of blue, red and white ribbons.

I remember when she started dancing. Everyone knew she was just copying our aunt, Tristan. I thought that was stupid too. I will never know why, but I was so jealous when my mom made her that green/black ballroom dress. She always had her dance friends over and they always made me laugh. Then she got really good, and I just wondered why I didn't have any passions or talents like her.

She won medals and trophies,  all I got a letter grade on a piece of paper. It didn't make sense.

I hate to admit it, but sometimes as I lay in bed at night, I feel so overwhelmed. She left big shoes to fill. She went to college, did full on student government, went to hair school, worked at Old Navy, and somehow managed to still be my best friend.

When I didn't get the scholarship she got, I was upset. I was supposed to be "the leader," and she took that too I was on student government twice! And I was the yearbook editor-n-chief! I was the Laurel's, Miamaid AND Beehives president. Not gonna lie, I thought I had leadership down. I left that interview feeling confident as ever. After getting shot down, I was reminded of my days of gazing at all those colorful ribbons on the wall.

She always tells me I am prettier and have better hair. She was never surprised when I got asked to, as she put it,  another dance. She gladly came and made me beautiful for all of those. She is surely jealous of my amazing singing talent. About once ever few weeks,  I send her a video of me singing "Take A Bow" by Rhianna. It's pretty fantastic.

Sisters get jealous. It's human nature. They fight. They steal each others clothes without asking-- no matter how many times the other person says they must ask before taking their clothes. And they bring each other up when the going gets rough. And if you have my sister, they buy you an owl ring or earring for you to wear for each of your school dances that you never wear and buy the gift for Mother's Day and say it's from all of the kids. She gave me $24 dollars exactly for graduation because I graduated on the 24th. She cuts my hair and buys me tacos.

She's my best friend. Sure she screws up sometimes and embarrasses me in front of boys. We're two completely different people but because we're sisters, it just works so perfectly. She's just like my mom. And our family is still trying to figure out where I am from.

I pray that I set as good of an example little Puffs as Sensen has to me.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I love her.

everybody talks too much

my exact feelings right now

I spent 8 hours on the phone today and somehow managed to talk to Taylor on the phone for another hour and half. (talking to Tay was much better than taking calls at work)

I concluded that I'm a pretty good at talking. 

sit down, it's just a talk

#3 English Classes

Especially AP English last year.  Ms. Van Orden changed my life and so did the many people I met in my English classes over the years. And it's because of these people and classes, that I want to be an English teacher.

say you wanna dance

#4 High School Dances

BJ Dodge,  James Summers,  Max Jensen, Joe Roberts, Taylor Sorenson, Trent Kupka, Stuart McGraw, Jake Knell, Travis Tyler, Ben Crowley, Alex Burdge and Mike Witham: Thank You.  Honestly, dances are the epitome of what high school is. And because of all of you, I went to each of them. That is quite spectacular if you ask me.  (Except el Cheapo, but that was Chrystalyn Finch's wedding so I couldn't go with a date, but I did go stag after)

I absolutely loved this and I sure and gonna miss it.

 

Random adventures around town, the comic book store, Wingers, ice cream at Mady's, hiking Stuart falls, getting lost, hide and go seek, carving pumpkins, dressing up as ninjas, skittle bowling, pirate isalnd pizza, Outback, Iggy's, ugly prom dresses, pretty prom dresses, long walks and talks, Magelby's, the truths and lies games with pebbles, some amazing hugs, power tumbling, La Jolla Groves, dinner at Lauren's, Things, Color Me Mine, Noodles and Co, Ikea, Aquarium, Cafe Rio, Sleepy Ridge, She's The Man.  

For some reason I can't find a bunch of pictures: Valentines 2010 with James Summers, Sadies 2010 with Taylor Sorenson, Valentines 2011 with Trent Kupka, Morp 2011 with Stuart McGraw,  Homecoming 2011 with Travis James Tyler, and  Sadies 2011 with Ben Crowley

glide away on soapy heels

(The reason I copied and pasted that previous post is because I have too much on my mind right now. )

All I do is ponder.  

I see pictures and I am reminded of who we used to be. Two freshman ready to fight on the world, conquering bug collections and Great Expectations. Being proud of running two miles in PE or joining track for a day together.

I've decided that people don't change, they just discover who they've been all along. 

And it hurts me so much that we've discovered different life paths. Give it a few months and we will no longer be speaking.We'll go about saying that we need to hang out and catch up. But it will never be the same. We're no longer the innocent freshman of Mr. Marker's Algebra 2 math class.

Inside jokes and old memories last for only so long.

It was engraved in my head that we'd be friends forever, that you'd be there at the birth of my children and we'd go on family vacations together. And that we'd talk and plan each others' bridal showers. But I don't even know if we'll make it through the summer.

The saddest part isn't that I'm losing you, it's that I simply just don't care anymore. 

everything is moving faster than it seems

Birds, pianos, books, old people. young people, people in love, people who aren't in love, plane crashes, babies, sheet music, Aubrey Glazier, thinking, parents, friends, people you used to know, people who are leaving, people who are staying, the one kid in your class that you have spoken to once, tall people, glances,  flowers, seminary, tv shows, reading, facebook, student government,  driving,  rainclouds, conference talks, accomplishments, disappointments, teachers,  graduation. 

 I wasn't expecting to get so emotionally involved with life.

at first sight, and it's real

Sick as a dog, November 10, 2011, I remember bawling to Josh Burr that I couldn't get through the day. It had been 12 hours already in Mr. Sutherland's office with more to come. I walked into the Thunderdome to set up for Veterna's day,  Baker took one look at me and told me to go home. But I couldn't. I had more to do. I skipped school the next day, missed the assembly I planned, and somehow made it to play practice that evening.

Whether it was watching "Being Elmo" or singing Millie with Heather, peeing pants and singing like a man with Gabby, or hearing Jonathan's selection of music, I somewhat enjoyed deadline days because it meant I was closer to finishing the biggest accomplishment of my small life of 18 years.

We played "The Final Countdown" and counted down until I would submit the final of 240 pages. It was done. The yearbook was done and I was the happiest person in the world. 

When  Sutherland handed me the pocket knife to open the box, I was shaking. Nerves and excitement filled my body. It was here.

My book. It came. 

And just like November 10, 2011-- my first deadline-- I cried. I was so proud of the accomplishment of my staff, overjoyed with the success.

I did it.